Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

Allow me to list the reason why I am completely obsessed with the song "Stronger" by Kayne West right now:

1 :: Kanye rocks my socks. So much that I forgive some of the bullshit lyrics in this song.
2 :: Daft Punk rocks my socks. I can dig any song that samples DP.
3 :: Everyone I know, in every industry, in every city, is getting shit on at work right now. So the "makes me stronger" is a needed bit of hope, as cliche as it may be.

Homobombastic.

Just imagine the kind of damage a gay bomb could do. People would be permanently blinded by the reflections of disco balls and sweat on waxed chests! Walmart stock would plummet, while Abercrombie & Fitch and Banana Republic would skyrocket! Birkenstocks would eclipse high-heels as the sexy footwear of choice for women!

Oh, the humanity!

Todoist: Fuck it, nothing's competing with the Film Fest.

Thur-Sun: Visit Jax film Festival's site for schedules of film viewings and parties.

Grey Goose Gala is Saturday @ The former Haydon-Burns Library.
Black and White Gala is Friday @ The Grotto.
The Talkies with John Waters is Saturday @ San Marco Theatre!
There's too much else to list it all.

(Read: I'm too lazy to list it all. See you out and about.)

But where's the ocean of porn?

Much like the early cartographers of America, someone has taken it upon themselves to chart the new Map of Social Media. Not to be used for navigation purposes, as some locations are not necessarily to scale, this is nonetheless an excellent piece of fun.

I think this is a map only of the new world. Porn must all be on the other hemisphere.

Treat yo mama right.

Don't forget - Mother's Day is Sunday!

Listen to Mr. T - call yo mama!

The machine is us(ing us).

I saw this video months ago, but totally forgot to post it. I suck, I know. Digital Ethnography by Michael Wesch, PhD, Asst. Prof. of Cultural Anthropology at Kansas State. It's probably the clearest way I've seen Web 2.0/RSS/Tagging/Etc. portrayed without totally dorking out.

Wank on, wank off.

Designers are Wankers is a new networking site for creatives.

Part MySpace, part Flickr, the site allows you to create a profile and join the community named Plebsville, and start making friends. You can also browse randomly, or make connections with friends of friends.

There's space to upload your portfolio, be it illustration, graphic design, film, fine art, whatev. Instead of Myspace's Name/Age/Location way of viewing multiple profiles at-a-glance, Designers are Wankers previews profiles by Name, Industry (Artist, Design, etc), and status (Pro, Student, Stiff).

Because MySpace is so To Catch a Predator.

Alanis, you complete me.

I'll admit it. I have a warm spot in my heart for Alanis Morissette. I came of age during "You Oughtta Know" and "Hand in my Pocket." I even loved the big-haired Star Searched Alanis of the 80s.

Which is why her cover of "My Humps" makes me fall in love with her all over again. This may be the song I have played at my funeral. Why? Because now I can die happy.

Børk ze chocolad!

It's Monday. Everybody could use a little chocolate moose.

Homophone-ic.

Sometimes spell check just doesn't get it right. We've all been there. A big fat typo that reads "form" instead of "from."

It sucks. Whatev.

Most of our mistakes don't get splashed across the front page of CNN.com, though.

I can't view the video on my work computer, so can someone verify that "Inmate Idle" really is a misspelled headline about singing prisoners, a la "American Idol," or is this really a video about a bunch of lazy convicts?

A movie for girls who like guy movies.

[image via That Other Blog]

300 opened at the San Marco Theatre last weekend. What better way to watch a quintessential guy movie than with a pizza and a pitcher of brew?

This movie has taken a lot of shit for its glorified and graphic violence, and linear plot. And that's okay. 300 wasn't made for the masses. It was made for the comic-book-reading Tarantino-loving guilty-pleasure-indulgers.

The only problem is, I don't feel guilty about taking pleasure in it.

Not as gruesome as Kill Bill v.1, but almost, guys will love this flick for the decapitations, refusal to back down (much less surrender), and raging testosterone.

Ladies, I know. Looking at the blood and guts is icky. But while they're fighting, they're doing so in little more than leather speedos and crimson capes. If you're doing payback from dragging your man to some shitty chick flick like Because I Said So, you might as well pick your battle, and have some serious eye candy.

Of course, the plot does glaze over a lot of the detail and intricacies of Sparta, and the battle itself. If at all possible, I suggest watching Last Stand of the 300 on the History Channel before watching the movie, as it is an excellent documentary and fills in the gaps.

A little History Channel to help you dork out, a little Hollywood to help you freak out - This has the makings of an excellent weekend.

Throughout the ProJax.

Dork out!

If you're not familiar with arguably the best animated series of my childhood, Freakazoid! Allow me to give you just enough info to get you by:

Nerd has superhero powers only when he shouts, "FREAK OUT!" and turns into Freakazoid.

Well, I have similar powers. Allow me to demonstrate:

Jaxopolitan has supernerd powers when she shouts, "DORK OUT!"

Tomorrow there will be a lunar eclipse from 22:44 to 23:57 GMT (5:44-6:57 Jax time). The eclipse will also cause the moon prior and after to turn blood red. How freakin' awesome is that?

Hope for clear, red, awesome skies! [NSS]

The price of being predictable.

Apparently, all you have to do nowadays to be featured in a Gucci ad is to get naked and take a photo. Brilliant!

This young man photographed himself semi-nude, placed the Gucci parfum bottle and logo on the page, and called in a media buy to a Swiss publication. "Send the bill to Gucci!"

Apparently, he called so close to press the sales team didn't have time to verify the legitimacy of the order, and it looks like your standard "Are you good enough?" fashion ad, so they ran it. And sent the bill to Gucci. The bill was $50,000.

Gucci, having no idea who the crazy-dilated-eyed dude in the ad was, was understandably displeased.

Now, nobody has any idea where this guy is.

Young design students, take notice - all you need to turn some simple spec work into shameless self promotion is a good camera, good body, and no fear of felony charges.

[via FCN]

If only I had seen this around Valentine's Day.

If it's boyfriend season, does that mean we get to shoot them?

[Ad via MySpace]

Hail Florida!

Tony posted this video of a statue of the UF gator getting erected (and subsequently demolished) on Ohio State's campus. During its short lifespan, this statue was spat on, kicked (where the sun don't shine), knocked over, and beaten with his own limbs.

Of course, given the resemblance to the toppled statue of Saddam Hussein, one can understand the hostility.

How to Ace an Intervention.

[Click to view How to Ace an Intervention]

This short showed at the Florida Theatre at Artwalk about a year ago. I figured it might come in handy for that post-Mardi Gras intervention your friends and family are planning.

Lush.

UPDATE: Apparently the embedded quicktime was making some computers sad, so I've disabled it. Check out Ned Farr's site, the creator of the short film, to view.

People say, "Children can be so cruel." No, they're just more open about it than adults.

Replace the words "Ice cream," in the above sketch with "New computer," and that's the song I'm singing today.

Well, without the skin-tight red leather jacket.

The pants, though...

Note: Adams Street is one-way. And not that way.

What does a guy in a banana suit do when he's skateboarding against traffic on Adams Street at 10 p.m. on a Thursday?

Why, he takes a call on his handy retro phone handset!



Tony has the mad skillz, yo.

VD and Single, vol. 5.

[image via Exploding Dog]