Safety Alert: The Bad Touch.

When you live and work in the urban core, some things are inevitable. Breaking a heel in a storm grate, running into your ex when you look like shit, and unpleasant encounters with disturbed individuals.

There appears to be a pervert hanging around the Southbank recently.

Last week, a female friend of mine was walking through the bus/skyway station at Kings Ave, and passed by a man, ahem, servicing himself. She logically quickened her pace and avoided eye contact, when he started to follow after her yelling obscenities. She then ran into her her office building.

She described the man as, "African American, probably in his mid 30’s with short curly hair. He was wearing baggy jeans with boxers showing. Due to the circumstances, I did not get a good description other than to say that he looked a little 'rough'."

Last night, a female employee from a neighboring office was approached by man with a similar description as she entered her car (parked at the Wyndam).

While on a smoke break at the Wyndam, another woman saw a man matching the description doing the same sort of thing at the bus station.

JSO has been contacted regarding the events, and will continue to step up patrol in the area. They have asked that if you see any suspicious activity, to please call them immediately. The telephone number is 630-0500. Report what you saw and it will appear on the screen of the nearest police officer.

Drink and fight, don't drink and drive. That's the Irish way!

Oh, how I love Saint Patrick's Day. It's a time to celebrate the little guy from Lucky Charms, pinch some hottie ass, and generally be a drunken wretch without judgement.

Because of this fact, AAA is again offering Tow To Go service for us drunken wretches who just can't say no to another shot of Patron.

Also known as Tipsy Tow, all you have to do is call 800.AAA.HELP (800.222.4351) and they'll hook you up with a participating wrecker company who will tow both your Faux-Irish ass and your car home. Assuming you remember where you live.

The service is free to AAA members and nonmembers alike, and is available Friday and Saturday.

[AAA]

Note: Adams Street is one-way. And not that way.

What does a guy in a banana suit do when he's skateboarding against traffic on Adams Street at 10 p.m. on a Thursday?

Why, he takes a call on his handy retro phone handset!



Tony has the mad skillz, yo.

Drop the granola bar, and step out with your hands up.

All afternoon a police chopper has been circling the Southbank announcing a variety of things over the megaphone, not limited to, but including:

This is a police action. Clear the area immediately.
Severe weather warning. Take cover immediately.
Drop you weapon, and come out with your hands above your head.

[In honor of recent police activities, please enjoy the game "Police Chopper"]