You've never heard it called a boobie hatch?

A boobie hatch is another name for an asylum? Who else has heard of this, is it a regional thing?

(This is what happens when we get stuck at work after-hours on a Friday)

Things I learned in Miami.

- Girls rollarblading in bikinis is not a stereotype. It is a way of life.
- Crosswalks are a suggestion. Only tourists obey them.
- So are red lights.
- Not running red lights will get you honked at.
- When you see the man riding his bike down the street with a rooster on the back, wait until you're out of earshot to mention, "nice cock."
- If a bar has $4 mojitos and is in South Beach, it's a gay bar.
- If a bar is playing Madonna and it is in South Beach, it's a gay bar.
- Men: The line, "I'm from the sex institute. We like to have lots of sex." Will not get you laid.
- Men: Neither will, "When I saw your body, I wanted to be in it."
- Women: "So why are you single?" "I'm a complete bitch." Will.
- If the hotel pool and beach access are 24 hour, you will find people drinking and swimming 24 hours.
- There no glass is allowed on the pool deck. A handle of rum in a plastic bottle is.
- One can lose 3 pounds in 5 days by eating a light breakfast, a hearty lunch, and rum and coke for supper.
- If your flight is at 7 a.m., and you don't leave the hotel until 6 a.m., you will sleep on the airport floor until 3 p.m.
- Macaroni and cheese with tomatoes, scrambled eggs with maple syrup and a glass of milk will help with the headache part of a hangover.
- It will not help with the nausea part of a hangover.
- Never make fun of a friend with a Saturday morning hangover when the likelihood is high you will have a hangover on Sunday.

Local man develops products for Ask.com, farts information.

Note to JBJ, when creating a photo-collage, be wary of background elements that come too close to the subject's delicate areas.

Looking at the above graphic, my question is does this Will Reed guy have very informational flatulence, or is he just talking out of his ass?

Todoist: Return of the Killer Tomatoes.

Tue: C10 hosts "Duck & Cover!" Helmets optional. After work-ish.
Wed: Artwalk Artcrawl Downtown. Rundown to come the day of.

Postscript: Thanks for hanging around despite my noticeable absence. I wish I could say it was a glamorous overseas vacation, but alas, it was just a couple intense work weeks.

But where's the ocean of porn?

Much like the early cartographers of America, someone has taken it upon themselves to chart the new Map of Social Media. Not to be used for navigation purposes, as some locations are not necessarily to scale, this is nonetheless an excellent piece of fun.

I think this is a map only of the new world. Porn must all be on the other hemisphere.

It may rain, but the Suns keep shining.

Not to brag or anything, but you know you work in a great place when e-mail threads between co-workers go as follows:

Agency Pep Squad: I am in the middle of finalizing our plans for the Suns ball game. Would you please help me out by RSVP-ing to me sometime today?

Jaxopolitan: Baseball's never been hotter.

APS: Will you be bringing a guest?

Jaxo: Nope. But I'll probably pick up some drunk frat boy standing in line for dollar beers.

APS: Baseball's never been hotter! :)

Black, like my soul.

A few months ago, a blog post popped up suggesting that because it takes fewer watts to light a black screen than a white one, A black google could save energy.

I'm a big fan of slacktivism, so when an opportunity presents itself to put forth virtually zero effort and still feel good about myself, I generally jump on it.

Blackle is such an opportunity. It's an primarily black version of Google's search engine (just search, no spiffy maps or images, etc). According to the website, they've already currently saved 4,700+ Watt hours.

They suggest setting your homepage to Blackle instead of Google to continue saving even more energy.

I certainly think the is the best idea ever. How else can you save the planet while searching for free porn on the internet?

The machine is us(ing us).

I saw this video months ago, but totally forgot to post it. I suck, I know. Digital Ethnography by Michael Wesch, PhD, Asst. Prof. of Cultural Anthropology at Kansas State. It's probably the clearest way I've seen Web 2.0/RSS/Tagging/Etc. portrayed without totally dorking out.

UPDATED: Call for artists: Humane Society Benefit Show.

[image via cute overload]

CREATEjacksonville and OPAQ Gallery are teaming for a one-night-only art show to benefit the recently fire-ravaged Jacksonville Humane Society.

They're currently looking for artists willing to donate work - interested parties should contact Brittni at CREATEjacksonville by Tuesday, 5.8.07.

Artwork does not have to be animal related. The show will be held Friday, 5.11.07 @ 8-11 p.m.

Non-artists may support the event by buying excellent donated artwork, and/or dropping off blankets, beds, food bowls, food etc.

Happier than a Pig in Shit.

Have you had one-too-many "chit chats" about the sexual harrassment policy with HR? When women slap you across the face and walk away mumbling profanities, are you excited that you get a great shot of her ass?

At Pigs Anonymous, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Created by and for players in the advertising industry, PA has all the support you'll need: Videos, an advice column, and a quiz to judge your progress.

If you know a pig who is unaware he has a problem, you can report him, and he'll receive a friendly e-mail inviting him to join the program.

Wank on, wank off.

Designers are Wankers is a new networking site for creatives.

Part MySpace, part Flickr, the site allows you to create a profile and join the community named Plebsville, and start making friends. You can also browse randomly, or make connections with friends of friends.

There's space to upload your portfolio, be it illustration, graphic design, film, fine art, whatev. Instead of Myspace's Name/Age/Location way of viewing multiple profiles at-a-glance, Designers are Wankers previews profiles by Name, Industry (Artist, Design, etc), and status (Pro, Student, Stiff).

Because MySpace is so To Catch a Predator.

Choose his fate: Grizzly man!

Grizzly Man

The beard: Shave it or Leave it?

Shave it, and let us see your beautiful face! Leave it, go for the ZZ Top look! Shave it, but leave a goatee and sideburns - the Joe Dirt look is hot! Shave it, but leave lightning-shaped sideburns! Something completely different - Leave suggestions in the comments!

View Result

Free Polls

District Branding, the musical!

Two weeks ago, AIGA Jax hosted The District Branding Event with Bennett Peji to a full capacity crowd at Burrito Gallery.

For those who missed the event, Photos and Podcast are now available.

Todoist: Beware the Ides of March. Nah, beware drunk kiddies two days after.

Thur: AIGA Jax hosts Cocktails and Creatives at Fionn McCool's Irish Pub. After work until last man standing. [AIGA] | [MCL]
Fri: Some bull named Martin is having a birthday shindig at Burrito Gallery. Expect the usual suspects. [BG]
Sat: Amatuer Night Saint Patty's Day is held throughout the city and beaches. The beaches are always a clusterfuck, so I suggest a little Burrito Gallery/London Bridge/Bay Street action. [BG] | [LB] | [TSI]

Critical Mass.

[click to enlarge]

It's funny because it's true.

Creative minds think alike.

Adobe: The Creative Mind.

Explore your world.

Have your city, and eat it, too!

[click image to enlarge]

Jacksonville Skyline cake from last night's District Branding Event. Note the Haydon-Burns Library, Main Street Bridge, and Modis Building.

Todoist: With a week like this, who needs weekends?

Tues: C10 honors co-owner/DJ/pastry chef J-BAD's birthday. Attendance is by invitation only. After work until last man standing. [C10]
Wed: Downtown Vision hosts everyone's favorite freeloading activity, Artwalk. Snag wine and munchies at galleries and shops throughout the urban core. [DVI]
Wed: Artwalk is punctuated by The District Branding Event, held upstairs at Burrito Gallery. Only 75 seats, after that admission is standing-room-only. Reception @ 6, Lecture @ 7. [PRV] | [AIGA]

The price of being predictable.

Apparently, all you have to do nowadays to be featured in a Gucci ad is to get naked and take a photo. Brilliant!

This young man photographed himself semi-nude, placed the Gucci parfum bottle and logo on the page, and called in a media buy to a Swiss publication. "Send the bill to Gucci!"

Apparently, he called so close to press the sales team didn't have time to verify the legitimacy of the order, and it looks like your standard "Are you good enough?" fashion ad, so they ran it. And sent the bill to Gucci. The bill was $50,000.

Gucci, having no idea who the crazy-dilated-eyed dude in the ad was, was understandably displeased.

Now, nobody has any idea where this guy is.

Young design students, take notice - all you need to turn some simple spec work into shameless self promotion is a good camera, good body, and no fear of felony charges.

[via FCN]

VD and Single, vol. 5.

[image via Exploding Dog]