Eatin' good in the neighborhood.

EatUp Downtown begins today, and while no numbers will be released until after the event's conclusion (sunday), I can only assume it'll be a success.

How on earth can I hypothesize this? How about the fact that Wine Cellar is completely booked Thursday and Friday nights anytime before 9:30?

I am a touch concerned about the vegetarian-friendliness of the event. When asked about getting a veggie entree substitution at Plaza III, the girl on the phone said, "Well, you have the option of a salad."

... If I end up eating two salads and Creme Brulee for $25, I'm going to be very upset.

Alas, there's always Cafe Nola, Chew, and Tastings.

Maybe this Downtown Dining Week should be followed by a Downtown Walk-a-thon. I'm gonna be a fattie by the time this is said and done.

The Freeloader's Guide Returns!

1: OPAQ @ TSI: Art=I Love Her, She Loves Me. Munchies=free [chew].
2: LRK Architects: Art=hit or miss. Wine=free.
3: Florida Theatre: Art=Petwalk! Dog Food=free.
4: TTV Architects: Art=meh. Wine=free [crap].
5: Starbucks @ 11E: Art=unknown[employee]. Freebies="Heavy sampling." Does this sound a little too much like 'Heavy Petting' to anyone else?
6: Jacksonville Bank: Art=solid. Wine=free. Music=DJ Catharsis/PC Synergy.
7: Gold's Gym: Smoothie=free. Massage=free. Gymnasium smell=free.
8: BellSouth Tower: Art=hit or miss. Munchies=free.
9: Café 331: Art=unknown [canvas and prints]. Wine=unconfirmed. Munchies=free.
10: WA Knight Building: Art=The Color of Munny. Beverages=keg?
11: Chew: Food=new dinner menu [pay]. Music=The Carlisle Group.
12: Hemming Plaza: Art=both the best and the worst. Entertainment=hit or miss [drum circle, bellydancing].
13: MOCA Jacksonville: Art=good. Full bar=cash.
14: Shelby’s Coffee Shop: Art=unknown [local]. Beverages=free. Munchies=free.
15: Needless Things: Art=unknown [glass, ceramics, canvas]. Wine=free.
16: Laura Street Gallery: Art=meh. Wine=free. Munchies=free.
17: Shugar Shack Chocolatier: Wine=free. Munchies=free [chocopop].
18: The Art Center: Art=hit or miss. Wine=free. Munchies=free.
19: Burrito Gallery: Art=good. Beverage=pay. Music=Julius Airwave.
20: London Bridge Eatery & Pub: Art=good. Beer=free w/flyer. Entertainment=live music.


Download the official Artwalk Flyer from Downtown Vision. [DVI]

Artwalking with style: The Freeloader's Guide.

[click to download the completely unofficial (but more boozy and geographically sound) jaxopolitan artcrawl map]

1: OPAQ @ TSI: Art=interactive installation. Munchies=free [chew?].
2: LRK Architects: Art=hit or miss. Wine=free.
3: Florida Theatre: Art=good. Wine=free.
4: TTV Architects: Art=meh. Wine=free [crap].
5: AmSouth Bank: Art=student. Wine=bleak.
6: Bank of North Florida: Art=unknown. Wine=free. Munchies=free.
7: BellSouth Tower: Art=hit or miss. Munchies=free.
8: Café 331: Art=unknown [canvas and prints]. Wine=unconfirmed. Munchies=free.
9: River City Deli: Art=unknown [photography]. Wine=free. Munchies=free.
10: Jacksonville Bank Building: Art=good. Wine=free. Entertainment=music [PC Synergy].
11: Gold's Gym: Smoothie=free. Massage=free. Gymnasium smell=free.
12: WA Knight Building: Art=excellent. Beverages=hit or miss.
13: Chew: Art=none. Food=awesome [pay]. Entertainment=music [The Carlisle Group].
14: VyStar: Art=unknown [renderings, cityscapes]. Beverages=free. Munchies=free.
15: Bryan Building: Art=hit or miss. Wine=none. Entertainment=model drawing and painting, spoken word, music.
16: Hemming Plaza: Art=both the best and the worst. Entertainment=hit or miss [drum circle, bellydancing, scenes from The Rocky Horror Show].
17: MOCA Jacksonville: Art=good. Full bar=cash.
18: Shelby’s Coffee Shop: Art=unknown [photography]. Beverages=free. Munchies=free.
19: Needless Things: Art=unknown [glass, ceramics, canvas]. Wine=free.
20: Laura Street Gallery: Art=meh. Wine=free. Munchies=free.
21: Shugar Shack Chocolatier: Wine=free. Munchies=free [chocopop].
22: The Art Center: Art=hit or miss. Wine=free. Munchies=free.
23: Burrito Gallery: Art=good. Beverage=pay. Entertainment= music.
24: London Bridge Eatery & Pub: Art=good. Beer=free w/flyer. Entertainment=live music.

Download the official Artwalk Flyer from Downtown Vision. [DVI] [WARNING: Burrito Gallery, Central Fire Station, London Bridge and TTV Architects are all noted 1 block east of actual locations]

Shopaholics Anonymous.

Word through the grapevine is Parisian department store is going out of business (they were bought by competitor Belk).

As such, there's a serious sale going on, as they're liquidating all their inventories (especially the Parisian label). Sales are 40%-50% off-ish.

Discount shoe shopping, anyone?

Let me tell you about the boat show.

Artwalk Rundown: You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

Plaza III Steakhouse: Art=historic photos. Munchies=1/2 price. Beverages=1/2 price.
OPAQ @ TSI: Art=contemporary. Munchies=free [chew?].
LRK Architects: Art=hit or miss. Wine=free.
Florida Theatre: Beverages=cash. Entertainment=Film Fest preview.
TTV Architects: Art=meh. Wine=free [crap].
11E: Art=hit or miss. Wine=free [crap].
Koja Sushi: Sake=free [first one].
AmSouth Bank: Art=unknown [bowls]. Wine=free.
Jacksonville Bank Building: Art=good. Wine=free. Entertainment=music [PC Synergy].
Gold's Gym: Smoothie=free. Massage=free. Gymnasium smell=free.
BellSouth Tower: Art=hit or miss. Munchies=free.
Café 331: Art=unknown [photography]. Wine=free. Munchies=free.
WA Knight Building: Art=excellent. Beverages=hit or miss.
Chew: Art=none. Food=awesome [pay]. Entertainment=music [3rd bass].
Bryan Building: Art= hit or miss. Wine=none. Entertainment=model drawing and painting, spoken word, music.
Hemming Plaza: Art=both the best and the worst. Entertainment=hit or miss [drum circle, bellydancing, live music].
MOCA Jacksonville: Art=good. Wine=none.
Shelby’s Coffee Shop: Art=unknown [photography]. Beverages=free. Munchies=free.
Needless Things: Art=unknown [glass, ceramics, canvas]. Wine=free.
Laura Street Gallery: Art=unknown [brand spankin' new].
Shugar Shack Chocolatier: Wine=free. Munchies=free [chocopop].
The Art Center: Art=meh. Munchies=free. Entertainment=live music.
Burrito Gallery: Art=good. Beverage=pay. Entertainment= music.
London Bridge Eatery & Pub: Art=good. Beer=ladies' night. Entertainment= live music.

Download the Artwalk Passport from Downtown Vision. [DVI]

New favorite place to eat the week before payday: Big Pete's.

Walking around Downtown last weekend in an effort to lead a healthier lifestyle (read: fit into pants I've recently out-grown), an interesting awning caught my eye: "2 slices & drink $2.97."

Holy crap!

Today, catalyzed by a sad checking account and 7 days until payday, I decided to check out Big Pete's Pizzeria on Julia. Before entering, I basically decided this was about to be the most awesome or the most gut-wrenching lunch I've ever had.

Well, second most gut-wrenching. I don't think anything could top that day somebody accidentally fed me chicken. (shudder)

I digress.

A couple co-workers and I chipped in a whopping $2.50 each for a large cheese pizza. Surprisingly, it was not bad!

Greasy? yes.
Doughy? yes.
Hot? yes.
Better than frozen pizza? depends on the brand.

So, will Big Pete's de-throne Al's as the best pie in town? Nope. Will they help me fit back into my "thin" pants? Hell no.

Will Big Pete's fill an empty stomach for the mere cost of digging through the change collected at the bottom of your purse?

Hells yes.

The Beer Belly: For men with guts.

Summer's coming soon. Which means, in addition to constant bitching about global climate changes, fist fights over the perpetual argument of heat versus humidity, and assholes asking, "Hot enough for ya?" There will be some pretty excellent summer festival concerts and outdoor events.

The only problem is, after paying for admission and parking, who can afford to drink $6 beers all day?

The Beerbelly fixes all that. A polyurethane bladder attaches to your midsection, creating a stealth compartment for carrying more than a six-pack of hooch. Sure, you'll look like a fat bastard, but your beer-induced sense of self confidence will overcompensate for that.

Ladies, if drinking while looking preggers isn't your thing, fear not! Currently under development is the Wine Rack, a bra that performs miracles of all sorts! Because seriously, what's hotter than a drunk girl with big ta-tas?

Artwalk + Pubcrawl = Artcrawl.

So, last month's Artwalk was pretty much rained out. So I'm recycling my list from last month with a few minor edits.

This is by no means a comprehensive list, just a compilation of places listed as having goodies by DVI, and a few who aren't listed as hosting refreshments, but I have a good feeling about.

Default:
OPAQ: Free munchies from Chew. Drink specials downstairs. The first opening under the name OPAQ, worth checking for curiosity's sake.
11E: Unlisted - They always have shitty wine.
Headquarters: Music by DJ Catharsis and PC Synergy, "hospitality (read: grub) provided."
Gold's Gym: Free massage chair, food and refreshments.
WA Knight Building: A collaborative surface of temporary interest. Refreshment outlook cloudy - last month they had a free keg.
Chew: Live music from The Carlisle Group. If you need food to absorb all the wine you've downed, eat here. The food's not free, but it's worth it.
Shugar Shack Chocolatier: Complimentary wine and samples of ChocoPop.
London Bridge: Happy Hour 5-7 for the men, all night for the ladies.
Burrito Gallery: No free stuff, strictly afterparty.

Auxiliary:
The Metropolitan Loft Apartments: Wine and appetizers available. Plus, curiosity to check out why these one-bedroom apts are so bloody expensive.
LRK Architects: Wine and refreshments available.
Koja Sushi: First sake free.
Twisted Martini: Free premium cocktail, bottle or draft beer, glass of house wine or the martini of the day (with Artwalk Passport).

As always, the "official" Artwalk afterparty is at Twisted Martini. But seriously? It's Chew for good eats and Burrito Gallery for drinks and people sightings.

Download the Artwalk Passport from Downtown Vision. [DVI]

Jacksonville's solution for affordable housing: whores.

Everyone's all over Jacksonville's Affordable Housing shortage lately. Luckily, this problem is not unique unto Jacksonville.

Artists in Tel Aviv have found the solution: prostitution. They've determined that the number of whores in your neighborhood directly correlates to rent prices. Genius!



Unwilling to prostitute themselves (who wants to stand on a street corner all day when you could be inside playing the Sims or World of Warcraft or whatever those damn kids play nowadays), they enlisted the help of a dozen or so life-size cardboard whores.

So once this big kitty city thing is over, I say the next public art work should be hookers. Do it for the kids! [VC]