The price of being predictable.

Apparently, all you have to do nowadays to be featured in a Gucci ad is to get naked and take a photo. Brilliant!

This young man photographed himself semi-nude, placed the Gucci parfum bottle and logo on the page, and called in a media buy to a Swiss publication. "Send the bill to Gucci!"

Apparently, he called so close to press the sales team didn't have time to verify the legitimacy of the order, and it looks like your standard "Are you good enough?" fashion ad, so they ran it. And sent the bill to Gucci. The bill was $50,000.

Gucci, having no idea who the crazy-dilated-eyed dude in the ad was, was understandably displeased.

Now, nobody has any idea where this guy is.

Young design students, take notice - all you need to turn some simple spec work into shameless self promotion is a good camera, good body, and no fear of felony charges.

[via FCN]

Newsish: And the winner is...

Jacksonville's local news media have long been competing for the title of most obvious cliche, and the only way to fairly judge them is to examine each outlet's coverage of the same story:

From the shameless self-promoting "4" in every possible headline, and constant alliteration of Channel 4:



To Florida Times-Union's attempts on clever headlines, but not quite hitting the mark:



To our awesomely bad winner, First Coast News, who wins based on both effectiveness and quantity of puns:



Suspects corralled in the Golden Corral, the investigators who caught them were on a stakeout at the restaurant? This is local media gold.

First Coast News, we salute you.

If only I had seen this around Valentine's Day.

If it's boyfriend season, does that mean we get to shoot them?

[Ad via MySpace]

Todoist: No need to call a cab, I prefer to crawl.

Thur: JaxMac hosts the Addys, an opportunity for creative professionals to get dressed up, celebrate themselves and get tanked beyond recognition. So, a normal Thursday night with nicer clothes. [JAXMAC]
Fri: The Jax Hoo-Haas Cudas play Huntsville at the Arena. Dippin' dots, booze, and men slamming into each other. What else could you want on a Friday night? Veterans Memorial Arena @ 7:05. [JCD]
Sun: Jacksonville Film Events hosts the Academy Awards Party as a benefit for the Jacksonville Film Festival. Munchies and an open bar. $50 cover. WJCT studios @ 7:30-11:30 p.m. [JFE]
Tues: Gym Class Heroes play at Freebird. It's a shitty drive, but it's nice to see bands and not go home smelling/tasting like smoke. $15 Tix. Doors @ 6:30. [FBL]

Hail Florida!

Tony posted this video of a statue of the UF gator getting erected (and subsequently demolished) on Ohio State's campus. During its short lifespan, this statue was spat on, kicked (where the sun don't shine), knocked over, and beaten with his own limbs.

Of course, given the resemblance to the toppled statue of Saddam Hussein, one can understand the hostility.

Happy Lint!

[Image via T-Shirt Humor]

Party on, you crazy Catholics.

How to Ace an Intervention.

[Click to view How to Ace an Intervention]

This short showed at the Florida Theatre at Artwalk about a year ago. I figured it might come in handy for that post-Mardi Gras intervention your friends and family are planning.

Lush.

UPDATE: Apparently the embedded quicktime was making some computers sad, so I've disabled it. Check out Ned Farr's site, the creator of the short film, to view.

Single serving Todoist.

It's a touch early in the week to have any idea what's really going on this weekend, but there is something happening tonight.

The San Marco Theatre will show Caffeine as part of the Jacksonville Film Events Reel People Series.

"A fanciful battle of the sexes ensues when the relationships of the staff and patrons of a quirky London café are unexpectedly turned upside down by sudden revelations of terribly embarrassing secrets having to do with their sexual misadventures." [IMDB]

It's too new a film to have any sort of review on Rotten Tomatoes, so you're flying blind as to if it'll be any good.

What do you think? Do you feel lucky?

Caffeine @ San Marco Theatre @ 7:30 p.m.

Revitatlize the Urban Core! Drink! It's a win-win!

March 7 (This upcoming Artwalk) AIGA's Jax chapter will host a lecture by Bennett Peji, an urban designer, who will discuss urban branding and identity.

Bennett Peji is an AIGA National board member and a Commissioner of Arts & Culture for the City of San Diego. His firm, Bennett Peji Design, specializes in helping the revitalization of cities and cultures through urban design and district branding. He serves as master plan consultant for the Filipino Village development in National City.

The lecture will be in Burrito Gallery's Upstairs space, which limits capacity. Cover is free for AIGA members, $10 for non-members. Hors d'oeuvres & Cash Bar @ 6, Lecture @ 7.

RSVP now, or get more details at AIGA Jax.

People say, "Children can be so cruel." No, they're just more open about it than adults.

Replace the words "Ice cream," in the above sketch with "New computer," and that's the song I'm singing today.

Well, without the skin-tight red leather jacket.

The pants, though...

Note: Adams Street is one-way. And not that way.

What does a guy in a banana suit do when he's skateboarding against traffic on Adams Street at 10 p.m. on a Thursday?

Why, he takes a call on his handy retro phone handset!



Tony has the mad skillz, yo.

VD and Single, vol. 5.

[image via Exploding Dog]

VD and Single, vol. 4.

[Image via Threadless]

Google hates "L" on Valentine's Day. They must be single.

In creating their super-fantastic customized logo for Valentine's Day this year, Google forgot one tiny detail. The "l" in their company name.

Blame it on the intern, guys. It's way easier to shit-can somebody who isn't even a paid worker.

Wrap it up.

Okay, I get it. Not everyone harbors the same hostility towards Valentine's Day that I do. It's cool. I'm happy for you. Just remember to keep things safe tonight.

I'll be damned if I go to any baby showers.

Todoist: For the love of vodka.

Tues: Joe Duffy speaks at the annual I Love Design event. $5 cover for members, $20 for non-members. Reception @ Chew @ 6. Lecture @ The Library @ 7. [AIGA]
Thur: AIGA Jacksonville hosts Cocktails & Creatives at Onyx, the bar in Bistro Aix. After work until last man standing. [AIGA]
Sat: MOCA hosts Canvas of Sound, their version of a rave. Er, "warehouse party." whatever. $10 cover for members, $15 for non-members. MOCA @ 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. [MOCA]
Sat: Inertia celebrates their birthday with a storewide sale, free keg, water balloon fights, and other horse-assery. Inertia @ 5 p.m. [INRA]

What's a single girl to do? Oh yeah, get drunk.

VD and Single, vol. 3.

Allegedly, the opposite of love isn't hate - it's indifference.

So, show someone you care with an Anti-Valentine. With selections ranging from "Stop Talking About Your Fucking Wedding" to "I'm so Lonely," you're sure to find just the right e-card to express your undeniable bitterness/depression/spite.

VD and Single, vol. 2.

[Image via the band Sweetheart Attack]

VD and Single, vol. 1.

Some are just too beautiful for this world.

Anna Nicole Smith has died after she was found unresponsive in her room at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood, FL.

The REAL reason Boston reacted so strongly to Lite Brites.

Artwalk + Pubcrawl = Artcrawl.

So, last month's Artwalk was pretty much rained out. So I'm recycling my list from last month with a few minor edits.

This is by no means a comprehensive list, just a compilation of places listed as having goodies by DVI, and a few who aren't listed as hosting refreshments, but I have a good feeling about.

Default:
OPAQ: Free munchies from Chew. Drink specials downstairs. The first opening under the name OPAQ, worth checking for curiosity's sake.
11E: Unlisted - They always have shitty wine.
Headquarters: Music by DJ Catharsis and PC Synergy, "hospitality (read: grub) provided."
Gold's Gym: Free massage chair, food and refreshments.
WA Knight Building: A collaborative surface of temporary interest. Refreshment outlook cloudy - last month they had a free keg.
Chew: Live music from The Carlisle Group. If you need food to absorb all the wine you've downed, eat here. The food's not free, but it's worth it.
Shugar Shack Chocolatier: Complimentary wine and samples of ChocoPop.
London Bridge: Happy Hour 5-7 for the men, all night for the ladies.
Burrito Gallery: No free stuff, strictly afterparty.

Auxiliary:
The Metropolitan Loft Apartments: Wine and appetizers available. Plus, curiosity to check out why these one-bedroom apts are so bloody expensive.
LRK Architects: Wine and refreshments available.
Koja Sushi: First sake free.
Twisted Martini: Free premium cocktail, bottle or draft beer, glass of house wine or the martini of the day (with Artwalk Passport).

As always, the "official" Artwalk afterparty is at Twisted Martini. But seriously? It's Chew for good eats and Burrito Gallery for drinks and people sightings.

Download the Artwalk Passport from Downtown Vision. [DVI]

Now Art-Walk it out.

Todoist: Insert clever headline here.

Tues: I (heart) C10. Valentine's themed playlist includes music to say "I want you/Ilove you/I hate you." Attendance by invitation. Or bring booze. Or cupcakes. after work until last man standing.[C10]
Wed: Artwalk downtown. 6-9 p.m. [DVI]
Thur: Eclipse celebrates its own Super Sweet Sixteen with Julius Airwave on stage, free kegs, drink specials, and Bloc Party giveaways. POP! @ Eclipse @ 10 p.m.-2 a.m. [DJPZ] | [ECL]
Thur: Bill Klingensmith presents Drive Project, an experimental interactive mapping project at JU. Fine Arts Hall of the Philips Fine Art Building @ 7, Refreshments follow lecture. [BK] | [AIGA]
Fri: Violet stays open late for a Valentine's show. Discounts through the store and adult beverages will be served @ 6-9 p.m. [INV] | [VIO]
Fri: Bright Young Things show opening, featuring the hottest young painter in Jax. Thanks for the info, Joey! Jane Grey Gallery @ 6-9 p.m. [INV] | [JGG]

Is it sweeps again already?

First Coast News vows to educate the parents of the dangers of date rape drugs. No word yet on the dangers of allowing teenagers to watch My Super Sweet Sixteen.

It's really sad that the local news stations are so far behind pop culture. Everything I ever needed to know about date rape drugs, I learned from Veronica Mars.



Oh, how I miss old, young, spunky Veronica. Sure, she's still spunky, but now the CW's got her all sexed up. Or maybe it's Peta who's got her all sexed up, with their "Sexiest Veg Alive" thing.

I'm blaming it on the cucumbers.

Speaking of The Sexiest Vegetarians of 2006, how good was Prince at the Superbowl? The Foo Fighters may have to retire "Best of You" from their live setlists.

Colts? Bears? Both LOSERS.

Prince won Superbowl XLI.

Go Hoo-Has!

There's a reason I don't watch sports.

It's not that I don't like them. I'm not allowed to. It's a self-imposed edict. I don't watch sports because I love them too much.

I made an exception last Friday. I attended a Barracudas hockey game.

For $28, I got:
• Admission (including two fights and enough legal violence to make any girl happy)
• A Huge Rum & Coke
• Dippin' Dots (The Ice Cream of the Future!)
• The crowd shouting "Go Cudas!" (That sounded either like "Go Hoo-Has!" or "Go Cooters!")

While I really could've done without the assholes seated behind us screaming, "Fight!" The whole time, as it ruins the mood. It's sort of like yelling, "Crash!" at the Daytona 500. Everyone secretly (or not-so-secretly) wants to see carnage, but it's in bad taste to openly root for it.

Assholes notwithstanding, my London Bridge Pub/Barracudas Hockey Game night was awesome. I strongly suggest.

Superbowl, Superfans. Coincedence? I think not.

I've had my Phil, thank you.

Aqua Teens give Bostonians the finger.

I think it's obvious to everyone that the Aqua Teens now pose a greater threat to Americans than the Terrorists. Perhaps even greater than Global Warming. Note the similarities between Aqua and Al Queada.

In a marketing ploy gone bad, concerned citizens of Boston confused these irrevent Lite Brites with suspicious devices. What's most amusing is that Fox News went wall-to-wall with the coverage. CNN, strangely absent. As it turns out, Ted Turner owns both Cartoon Network and CNN. I can just hear the producers snickering at the repeated Fox News Alerts.

Well Ted, we'll see who gets the last laugh when you get slapped with a $500,000 fine for the publicity stunt.

Ode to the forgotten french fry.

Cheers to you, forgotten french fry.

When the sandwich is gone, and last fry is eaten, you come to the rescue.

Hiding under a piece of lettuce, you appear magically for one last bite.

That last dab of Ketchup-Mayo pink sauce (3 parts K, 2 part M) would go tragically lost without you.

And I, as a foodie, would be tragically lost without you.

Forgotten french fry, I may be in love.