The difference is, in Jax officers can handle their brownies.

Todoist: Fuck it, nothing's competing with the Film Fest.

Thur-Sun: Visit Jax film Festival's site for schedules of film viewings and parties.

Grey Goose Gala is Saturday @ The former Haydon-Burns Library.
Black and White Gala is Friday @ The Grotto.
The Talkies with John Waters is Saturday @ San Marco Theatre!
There's too much else to list it all.

(Read: I'm too lazy to list it all. See you out and about.)

But where's the ocean of porn?

Much like the early cartographers of America, someone has taken it upon themselves to chart the new Map of Social Media. Not to be used for navigation purposes, as some locations are not necessarily to scale, this is nonetheless an excellent piece of fun.

I think this is a map only of the new world. Porn must all be on the other hemisphere.

In Putnam County, they call this classy.

Man proposes to woman on Billboard.

Duval County has gangs? Word.

Safety Alert: The Bad Touch.

When you live and work in the urban core, some things are inevitable. Breaking a heel in a storm grate, running into your ex when you look like shit, and unpleasant encounters with disturbed individuals.

There appears to be a pervert hanging around the Southbank recently.

Last week, a female friend of mine was walking through the bus/skyway station at Kings Ave, and passed by a man, ahem, servicing himself. She logically quickened her pace and avoided eye contact, when he started to follow after her yelling obscenities. She then ran into her her office building.

She described the man as, "African American, probably in his mid 30’s with short curly hair. He was wearing baggy jeans with boxers showing. Due to the circumstances, I did not get a good description other than to say that he looked a little 'rough'."

Last night, a female employee from a neighboring office was approached by man with a similar description as she entered her car (parked at the Wyndam).

While on a smoke break at the Wyndam, another woman saw a man matching the description doing the same sort of thing at the bus station.

JSO has been contacted regarding the events, and will continue to step up patrol in the area. They have asked that if you see any suspicious activity, to please call them immediately. The telephone number is 630-0500. Report what you saw and it will appear on the screen of the nearest police officer.

Treat yo mama right.

Don't forget - Mother's Day is Sunday!

Listen to Mr. T - call yo mama!

Todoist: Beer before art, always smart. Liquor before golf, never fault.

Thur: Baseball's never been drunker with Thirsty Thursdays! Jax Suns host Birmingham. Tix run $6-$30, dollar beers all night. Game starts @ 7:05.
Fri: The Players comes to the Landing with interactive golf challenges and live music. The Players Downtown Experience @ 4, Fireworks @10.
Fri: OPAQ hosts a one-night-only art show to benefit the Jax Humane Society. Cheap art, great cause. Reception @ 8-11.
Sat: 9th and Liberty opens the Digital to Physical show: The concept of the show was to find artists online from all over and to assemble them together in a physical space. From digital to physical. It’s like online dating, but not really? Reception @ 6-10.
Sun: Jacksonville Asian American Alliance hosts a pre-JFF screening of Hero @ San Marco Theatre. $10 cover includes box lunch. Lunch @ 1, Movie @ 2.

It may rain, but the Suns keep shining.

Not to brag or anything, but you know you work in a great place when e-mail threads between co-workers go as follows:

Agency Pep Squad: I am in the middle of finalizing our plans for the Suns ball game. Would you please help me out by RSVP-ing to me sometime today?

Jaxopolitan: Baseball's never been hotter.

APS: Will you be bringing a guest?

Jaxo: Nope. But I'll probably pick up some drunk frat boy standing in line for dollar beers.

APS: Baseball's never been hotter! :)

Black, like my soul.

A few months ago, a blog post popped up suggesting that because it takes fewer watts to light a black screen than a white one, A black google could save energy.

I'm a big fan of slacktivism, so when an opportunity presents itself to put forth virtually zero effort and still feel good about myself, I generally jump on it.

Blackle is such an opportunity. It's an primarily black version of Google's search engine (just search, no spiffy maps or images, etc). According to the website, they've already currently saved 4,700+ Watt hours.

They suggest setting your homepage to Blackle instead of Google to continue saving even more energy.

I certainly think the is the best idea ever. How else can you save the planet while searching for free porn on the internet?

The machine is us(ing us).

I saw this video months ago, but totally forgot to post it. I suck, I know. Digital Ethnography by Michael Wesch, PhD, Asst. Prof. of Cultural Anthropology at Kansas State. It's probably the clearest way I've seen Web 2.0/RSS/Tagging/Etc. portrayed without totally dorking out.

Let me tell you about the boat show.

Artwalk Rundown: You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.

Plaza III Steakhouse: Art=historic photos. Munchies=1/2 price. Beverages=1/2 price.
OPAQ @ TSI: Art=contemporary. Munchies=free [chew?].
LRK Architects: Art=hit or miss. Wine=free.
Florida Theatre: Beverages=cash. Entertainment=Film Fest preview.
TTV Architects: Art=meh. Wine=free [crap].
11E: Art=hit or miss. Wine=free [crap].
Koja Sushi: Sake=free [first one].
AmSouth Bank: Art=unknown [bowls]. Wine=free.
Jacksonville Bank Building: Art=good. Wine=free. Entertainment=music [PC Synergy].
Gold's Gym: Smoothie=free. Massage=free. Gymnasium smell=free.
BellSouth Tower: Art=hit or miss. Munchies=free.
Café 331: Art=unknown [photography]. Wine=free. Munchies=free.
WA Knight Building: Art=excellent. Beverages=hit or miss.
Chew: Art=none. Food=awesome [pay]. Entertainment=music [3rd bass].
Bryan Building: Art= hit or miss. Wine=none. Entertainment=model drawing and painting, spoken word, music.
Hemming Plaza: Art=both the best and the worst. Entertainment=hit or miss [drum circle, bellydancing, live music].
MOCA Jacksonville: Art=good. Wine=none.
Shelby’s Coffee Shop: Art=unknown [photography]. Beverages=free. Munchies=free.
Needless Things: Art=unknown [glass, ceramics, canvas]. Wine=free.
Laura Street Gallery: Art=unknown [brand spankin' new].
Shugar Shack Chocolatier: Wine=free. Munchies=free [chocopop].
The Art Center: Art=meh. Munchies=free. Entertainment=live music.
Burrito Gallery: Art=good. Beverage=pay. Entertainment= music.
London Bridge Eatery & Pub: Art=good. Beer=ladies' night. Entertainment= live music.

Download the Artwalk Passport from Downtown Vision. [DVI]

UPDATED: Call for artists: Humane Society Benefit Show.

[image via cute overload]

CREATEjacksonville and OPAQ Gallery are teaming for a one-night-only art show to benefit the recently fire-ravaged Jacksonville Humane Society.

They're currently looking for artists willing to donate work - interested parties should contact Brittni at CREATEjacksonville by Tuesday, 5.8.07.

Artwork does not have to be animal related. The show will be held Friday, 5.11.07 @ 8-11 p.m.

Non-artists may support the event by buying excellent donated artwork, and/or dropping off blankets, beds, food bowls, food etc.

Clusterfuckery. Also known as street closings.

The Water/Hogan Street area near the Landing will be closed all weekend (Thur, 5.3.07 @ 8 a.m. through Tues, 5.8.07 @ 6 p.m.) for the Sail Jacksonville event.

One day I will learn to stop taking Water and rely on Forsyth exclusively. Unfortunately, old habits die hard.

Info via [DVI]

Todoist: Artistic Alcoholics.

Tue: The C10 gringos host Uno de Mayo. Margaritas, latin music, and sombreros shall ensue. Attendence by invitation only. After work until the tequila's gone.
Wed: Artcrawl. Remember to wear comfortable shoes - one never wants to spill free wine. Downtown @ 5-9.
Thur: Olive, formerly known as Luna, hosts a grand opening party and 20% storewide sale Thursday and Friday. Cocktails and light fare provided.
Fri-Sun: Sail Jacksonville docks at the Landing, and hosts self-guided ship tours, a viewing of The Goonies Friday night, and fireworks Saturday night. No cover. Reference site for activity times.
Fri: Jane Gray Gallery hosts the opening of Photo Process, alternative process photographs. OMG! Photos that aren't digital? They still make those? Reception @ 6-9.
Fri: Leo Rijn premieres his Monumental "Cat in the Hat" Bronze Sculpture and his newest Dr. Seuss Secret Art and Illustration artworks at R. Roberts Gallery. Reception @ 6-9.
Sat: 1951 Market hosts an art open house. The venue itself is worth checking out, plus art from excellent local artists. Opening @ 3-6.
Sat: Bogda hosts an art opening featuring a baker's dozen of artists, live music, and free adult beverages. Reception @ 8-11.