Foliowatch: Cruising the personals.

The greatest "I Saw You" of them all:

"The Pearl 12/28 Thank you for watching over me as I vomited in the street and my friend looked for my ride home. I would like to thank you in person."

Oh, Dear. You have to be more specific than spewing outside The Pearl. A lot of people fill that description.

This is what happens when straight men watch too much Sex & the City:

"I'm not Hugh Hefner! You're no Playboy bunny sweetheart! I use dumbbells, you take Paxil! I collect movies, you're a shoe junkie! We're both somebody's ex! White male, 50, 6', 200 seeks loveable single female for true friend with great benefits!"

What kind of benefits? Like, 401(k) or dental? 'Cause I could really use a new dental plan.

So, is this live-action Tarzan, or Disney animated feature Tarzan?

"Tarzan look for Jane. Tarzan white, 46 season, 5'10", solid 180, seek Jane. Good if Jane like water, jungle, animals and high places. Ok if Jane have kids. Jane no take Tarzan to mall. Tarzan nice.

Good if Jane like high places, since the author is high often. Like when writing.

I have always loved a man in a loincloth, though.